ABFR 07

Chapter 7

I felt awful. If you ask why I felt awful, it was simply because I felt awful.

After ending my not-quite-a-date with Rayleigh Kraha at dawn in a completely messed-up mood, I came back to my apartment, slept for a while, and woke up feeling even more like shit.

“You’re saying you’ve been feeling like shit lately? The things that are feeling the shittiest these days are your internal organs and your doctor’s mood.”

Dr. Jung Si-hoon answered while looking over my blood test results.

“Doctor, don’t be like that. Just listen to my relationship problems.”

“Don’t overthink it. Just go straight at him. You’re good at that anyway. You’re good at saying whatever comes to mind without thinking about what comes before or after.”

“But…… But if that bastard has already lost interest and I’m the only one clinging to him, nothing is going to change, is it?”

“Isn’t it just that? You’re being vague, your boyfriend is being vague, and the two of you are just making each other feel awkward. Anyway, no alcohol for two weeks. You have to keep it this time.”

“Okay……”

When I answered weakly, the doctor wrote down a few medicines on my chart before speaking firmly.

“I’m going to prescribe two weeks’ worth of medicine this time. This is medicine you must not take on days when you drink alcohol. In other words, if you drink, you won’t be able to keep your appointment schedule and will have to come later, right? Finish all the medicine and then come.”

“Ah, that’s so cruel……”

“Still, I give you credit for one thing. You never lie to me. Finish it all and come back.”

I collapsed over Dr. Jung’s desk and made a dying sound. He gently pushed my head away with his palm before adding some relationship advice this time.

“Maybe he hasn’t lost interest. But why am I, an internal medicine doctor, giving you this kind of advice?”

“I told you. He flirted with me for a while, then suddenly kissed me, and then suddenly had sex with me. There’s no way he could act like this if he hadn’t lost interest.”

“Then why am I, an internal medicine doctor, giving you psychiatric advice? Go get some counseling.”

“Whiiine……”

“You’re twenty-seven. Making noises like that isn’t going to make anyone feel sorry for you. Your anemia has gotten worse, too. Your blood pressure is low. How are you in the mornings?”

“Damn it, even though I’m twenty-seven, I’m cute. Anyway, I have a lot of runny nose and I feel exhausted. I’m a little lethargic, too. I’m under way too much stress.”

“Is it because of your relationship?”

Perhaps he wanted to ignore my claim that I was cute, because he completely ignored it and suddenly asked that.

I rested my chin on my hand and thought for a moment before shaking my head.

“I have deadlines, I can’t write well, I have a lot of assignments, and my love life isn’t working out. It’s a combination of things.”

“The deadline isn’t urgent, though.”

“It still stresses me out just knowing it’s there.”

I answered sulkily and fell into thought again.

I absentmindedly listened to the sound of his fingers rapidly typing as he filled out my chart. Then I quietly watched Dr. Jung Si-hoon’s handsome profile.

“Doctor, can I do some research on you? I need it for my writing.”

“Are you writing a medical story? No wonder you’ve hit a slump.”

What did he think of me that he immediately assumed I was writing a medical story?

I narrowed my eyes into a triangle, glaring at him unpleasantly. But honestly, I didn’t have enough basic knowledge to write a medical story.

I remained sprawled over his desk with an annoyed expression before slowly correcting his misunderstanding.

“No, no. I can’t write anything that serious. Doctor, if you became a hero, what do you think you would do?”

“A hero?”

“Yeah, like the heroes in movies. A warrior who protects the Earth. Like Superman.”

“Do I get a pension? I think I’d buy a villa in the Maldives first.”

“I was wrong to ask you.”

I grumbled while rolling my head around on the desk. Then I glanced through the door at the electronic waiting board, which still showed that there wasn’t a single patient or person waiting except me.

It seemed like I could stay in Dr. Jung’s office a little longer.

There were still more than thirty minutes until my appointment.

Dr. Jung Si-hoon didn’t seem interested in how my writing was progressing at all. Instead, he updated my medical records and switched into nagging mode.

“You haven’t been eating again lately, have you?”

“I’ll eat after the appointment. I promised to buy food for the freshmen. We’re going to have meat, so don’t worry.”

“Don’t drink alcohol.”

“I really won’t this time.”

I had hurriedly written and submitted the early manuscript and synopsis of my new work, roughly finished my assignments, and didn’t have any exams immediately coming up.

If I was going to stop drinking, now was definitely the time to do it.

When I obediently answered, Dr. Jung frowned as if he didn’t trust me before calmly asking another question.

“What about side dishes at home?”

“Kimchi, tuna, and kimchi tuna.”

“Two out of those three are canned food.”

“Actually, the kimchi is instant kimchi, too.”

“Is your dream to die young, A-jin?”

“You misunderstand. I just have a weak mental state and I’m vulnerable to stress.”

I answered indifferently, and Dr. Jung clicked his tongue.

“I’ve never seen someone with such a weak mental state who lives like a bulldozer like you.”

“Then remember this well. You can live like a bulldozer and still have a weak mental state.”

“The appointment is over, so get out and stop disturbing my work. I have a new customer.”

His words came out suddenly.

I quickly turned my head and looked through the door. Sure enough, a new patient’s name had appeared on the electronic waiting board.

Apparently, a new patient had arrived and registered during those few moments.

I clicked my tongue and reluctantly stood up.

Before changing the board to the next patient, Dr. Jung finished my prescription and spoke to me gently.

“Does your hero suddenly become a hero one day?”

“My novel? Yes.”

“Then I suppose he also suddenly gains superhuman powers one day?”

“Yes.”

When I readily agreed, he tilted his head slightly.

“If it were me, I think I’d be desperate.”

He said something I hadn’t expected.

Before opening the door, I stood there blankly staring at him. Then I looked up at the ceiling, lowered my gaze again, and tilted my head.

“‘Desperate’?”

“Yeah. If I suddenly gained that kind of ability, I think I’d start thinking about all the things I couldn’t do before. If only I’d had this ability, I could have done this and that…… For example, winning the lottery, buying a house, becoming successful early and turning into a huge star. Things like that. All the possibilities I could have had.”

“Ah. I get what you mean.”

I nodded while slipping my eco-bag under my arm.

It wasn’t difficult to understand roughly what he was trying to say. It was a little different from the focus of the question I had asked, but it seemed like useful advice for designing the character.

After thinking for a moment, I asked a more specific question.

“Actually, I was asking what it would be like if someone who works as a doctor became a hero.”

“Oh, that’s what you meant?”

“He wears a doctor’s coat, so he’s Hero White.”

“Why did you make the setting so half-heartedly?”

“Don’t criticize someone else’s setting. Just help me.”

I snapped back sulkily, and Dr. Jung shrugged.

“Then how about making him the kind of cosmic hero who suffers because of his humanity, remembering all the people he couldn’t save with his powers?”

“He’s a completely good person. That’s very heroic. I like it, I like it. I’ll use it as a reference. I’m bad at writing good people.”

I did my best to thank him, but Dr. Jung Si-hoon, who had been staring at me coldly through his glasses, ruined the nice atmosphere.

“Don’t drink alcohol.”

“This is the third time, Doctor. If I said I won’t drink, you should trust me. I’m going to eat right in front of the hospital, so come watch me if you’re that worried. Goodbye.”

“Why would I go all the way there to watch you? Anyway, take care. And talk honestly with your boyfriend.”

“That’s impossible. Absolutely impossible. Anyway, loyalty.”

“If he turns out to be trash again, I’m not helping you.”

“Loyalty, loyalty.”

And so, after saying goodbye to Dr. Jung Si-hoon, I took my prescription and stopped by the pharmacy.

By then, it was exactly time for my appointment with the freshmen, so I went straight to the restaurant we had agreed on in the alley nearby.

Buying meals for freshmen was one of the inner joys of being an upperclassman with a personal income.

Since it was daytime, we decided not to order alcohol and simply ate a normal meal.

They had classes in the afternoon, so we soon parted ways.

And then I became a wanderer on the streets.

Rayleigh had mentioned making me some dessert and such, but we hadn’t actually made any proper plans.

Yesterday, we had stood there facing each other intensely, and the atmosphere had become one where it felt like we were definitely going to kiss.

So I had closed my eyes for the moment.

But the moment I actually closed my eyes, Rayleigh, who had looked like he absolutely wouldn’t move away until that moment, suddenly and neatly stepped back.

That was how we parted and went home.

Naturally, it hadn’t exactly been the kind of atmosphere where we could make plans.

I still didn’t know the reason or the circumstances, but one thing was obvious.

That bastard was acting strangely vague and keeping his distance.

Rayleigh Kraha wasn’t originally such a gentlemanly person.

I was thinking about it by myself and slowly making my way toward a café to kill some time when I suddenly made eye contact with a familiar person sitting in the café across from the restaurant where I had eaten with the freshmen.

Bright violet eyes.

Oh, shit. Why the hell is that bastard here?

Why else would he be here?

He must have found out beforehand that I was eating with the freshmen at the restaurant across the street and taken a seat here to keep an eye on me.

“Do you…… have no respect for the law?”

“I live just fine without such a thing.”

“I never imagined you’d give such a shameless answer. Why are you suddenly here?”

“Didn’t we make plans to go on a date today?”

I stared at him for a moment before answering coldly.

I intended to tell him the obvious truth instead of letting him ignore it.

“We didn’t ‘make plans.’ You just said we should.”

“You have nothing else to do anyway, so please accompany me.”

But Rayleigh Kraha was shameless as always.

With a calm expression, he lightly placed a hand on my back and subtly guided me onto the path he wanted to take.